June 28, 2010

I keep remembering something from the end of Jane Eyre.  I don’t know that I’ll quote it right, but what keeps running thru my mind is ‘I am loved and have loved.’  We all seek the love of our creator, in our parents and children, in other people, in animals, in nature; and sometimes even in The Creator.  Well I won’t say I’ve done that, or found that – but there is something that wants telling.  I don’t know how the telling will go, because I had thought to keep it private and didn’t jot down the steps that took place.  There is a welling up that has begun.  I’ll confine this telling to the past few days, although I could probably write a whole book on the numerous little experiences that contributed.  Well actually the recent postings on differences did some bit of work.  I wanted to love my I Am Presence freely, without wanting anything in return.  I wanted to let go of the idea that IF I could accept oneness, then I could somehow suddenly not be broken anymore.  I wanted to let go of the idea of brokenness altogether, of not measuring up, of some unnamed illusive impurity that even God couldn’t heal.  I won’t say I’ve done that, either; but I had such a deep longing.  I wanted to let go of the anxiety of loneliness, a deep soul loneliness that nothing in this world can fill.  I wanted to reach out in true freedom with no expectations and no attachments.  I wanted to reach without asking for anything, not for others, or the world or myself, not healing or freedom or joy or purity or acceptance – just reach and say thank you to what ever God may be and I love you with whatever I’ve got.  I gave way to a time consuming habit and knew I was running away from the anxiety yet again, rather than facing it.  This gave me some resolve to turn around and try to face it, although I thought I was unsuccessful.  I read from Master Keys to Personal Christhood page 28 "For if you truly love the Living Christ, you are willing to overcome anything in this world - including anything in your own psyche - in order to follow me. If you truly love me, you will spontaneously seek to overcome anything that separates you form me!" I asked myself, could I love Christ more deeply than I feared christhood?  I was watching the movie The Celestine Prophecy while I ironed.  A line stood out.  Give energy from the heart to someone who is also giving energy from the heart and the intensity grows.  I thought about how my I Am Presence is my link to The Creator and I thought of the mentionings in various teachings of The Great Central Sun.  Then I was watching the sunset, the colors and the clouds.  The sun was suddenly brighter and I had this undeniable KNOWING.  I am loved simply because I am.  Thru the incredible hours of delighting in the rain the next day, the knowing increased.  I wish each and everyone in your own way, this knowing.


June 26, 2010

I've never found much use for the story of the Tower of Babel. I've always dismissed it as a fantasy myth to explain languages. Yet, this story has been placed in a book of Christ teachings (Master Keys to Personal Christhood by Kim Michaels). So that seems to indicate there is some importance to it that I'm not recognizing. I feel the temptation of the old interpretation - the children of God did "wrong" and God "punished" them. So moving beyond that viewpoint - The people seemed to be in oneness, united in goal and purpose, way and language. Then they became able to put different meanings on words, have different languages, and scattered in purpose and direction. Is this interpretation only because this is where my thoughts are right now? That oneness is not about sameness, that there is a deeper unity in the coming together of appreciated differences (which may or may not have happened in the story). Does the story illustrate just natural in breadth and out breadth, coming together and dispersing? Or was it actually a "good" thing that the people were united in purpose and the story simply illustrates what happens when the duality consciousness enters the scene, the ability to define two relative opposites? I think there is a deeper meaning that I do not yet grasp.

June 25, 2010

Appreciating differences. When I wish this one friend well, I used to put it in terms of hoping her life would be less hectic. Then I realized she manufactures her life that way. She actually thrives on activity. She finds peace in doing, while I find peace in nature. Even so, I was recently surprised at her reaction to my offer to let her use my weekend retreat. Her mother died this past month and she is in the midst of a divorce and her adopted daughter chose to go live with her natural mother. Yet, my friend would prefer to put her energies into training for various (marathon?) runs. I put a question on whether they are considered marathon. In the first one this past weekend, her time was 2 hours, 9 minutes and unknown seconds. Two hours of running makes a marathon in my book, but I'm not sure if it does officially. She has used physical exertion to process her grief. That would certainly help my health and weight, but I need down time to process grief. I'm looking at years of exploring around my new piece of land, the huge forest, the lake, the water fall, the two national wonders, the roads to places I haven't been yet, the people all about, the animals. She saw only boredom and lack of activity. Yet, we appreciate each other and our differences.

June 24, 2010

Odd.  I find it easier to visualize myself as liquid gold than as sunshine.  I guess because the liquid is more material.  But, doesn’t that say something in itself?  Even in my visualizations I’m tending more toward the material.  Time to reach higher.

I was joking with a couple people today that April, May and June have passed so very quickly that I’m going to have to accelerate my electrons to keep up with the next three months.  Perhaps I was being a bit more serious than I realized.  As we raise our consciousness to higher levels, do we actually physically vibrate a bit faster?  Would time appear to pass more quickly or less?  It probably wouldn’t matter if I stayed in the eternal now.

June 23, 2010

Most teachings seem to agree that a light flows thru us.  What I understood from what Jesus said in a dictation of recent years, was that he described that light as a pure white light that flows thru the filmstrip of our current consciousness.  And that we can change that filmstrip any time we wish.  I seem to have been trying to find a filmstrip that resembles my perception of my I AM Presence.  That sounds like trying to limit my identity to a box, doesn’t it.  But I was wondering today if a higher goal would be to have a clear filmstrip that doesn’t color or distort the light or perhaps better even eliminate the filmstrip all together.

I described my path to accepting purity today when I was talking with someone, as a journey from the middle of a mud puddle.  I’m certainly no longer frozen or aimlessly walking in circles.  Each time I catch and reframe a thought regarding seeking approval or disapproval, I take a step toward the edge of the puddle.  In one sense it seems like I’m at the edge about to step out of the puddle into high reeds.  In another sense it seems like I’m still towards the middle making slow, but definite progress outward.  Perhaps it is just another one of those perception issues.

Yet even purity can be a false desire if I think that I will somehow magically become whole, instead of recognizing that I am already whole.

What would the world be like if we saw each other as expressions of God?  What affect would it have on my life if I considered every interaction with another person as an interaction with an aspect of God?  Would I look for the purity in them?  Would I find the light in them?  How would my perceptions change?  Would these interactions become more uplifting to these, my brethren?

June 22, 2010

I guess even accepting purity can be considered contributing to inner peace. For surely our self-image has a huge affect on our inner condition. The first part for me is a deeper acceptance of my identity as a spirit, a child of God, an expression of my creator, an extension of light into a sphere desiring more light. It requires rooting out the beliefs hammered into me of viewing myself as a sinner, something tainted, a creation where The Creator isn't. It's just not possible for the light of creation, that which is everywhere and in everything, not to be in me, in everyone.

June 15, 2010

During this time of silence, I haven't been consciously associating what I have been learning with personal peace. I'm embarking on learning about accepting purity. Also, I'd like to learn more about accepting divine direction. It seems time to post more regarding world peace. I still have more of the perspective that world peace is accomplished by individuals expressing their inner peace. So I guess I'm trying to say I'd like to start posting again, but I don't know quite what the topics will be.

World peace.

I did a google search on world peace just for fun. I actually found quite a bit. I'll start with stating my opinion of Wikipedia's definition. "World peace is an ideal of freedom, peace, and happiness among and within all nations and/or peoples. World peace is a Utopian idea of planetary non-violence by which nations willingly cooperate, either voluntarily or by virtue of a system of governance that prevents warfare." I don't agree with the words "ideal" and "Utopian." This makes it sound beyond reach. There is way too much evidence of changing consciousness to believe that world peace is anything less than attainable. I can't think of a major city on Earth where someone walking down the street clad only in a wolf skin would be considered normal. Although slavery is still condoned in some countries, there are numerous cultures and societies that have moved beyond considering slavery acceptable. The consciousness which makes and condones and justifies war will fade in just the same way. It's very similar to a 20 year old thinking completely differently and approaching life in a totally different manner than a 10 year old. On a wider and wider scale more people will recognize that whole sale murder is not an acceptable answer. I also don't agree with the emphasis on non-violence in Wikipedia's definition. It misses the points of tolerance, respect for diversity, creative solutions and an understanding of true free will. Peace is so much more than a refraining from violence. I guess I still go back to peace being an inner condition. And I don't think that is required of every individual on the planet, the way the definition makes it sound. But it might be a condition that becomes more consciously valued at various levels. More and more people might consider inner peace more recognizably attainable.


This energy is sent out thru the protective filter of Father/Mother God's will
 and can only be returned in that will and by God's grace.