December 24, 2014

I can actually say what I said on the 22nd more succinctly. It doesn't matter who or what presses our buttons; it's the fact that we still have buttons that can get pressed. These are what we want to keep clearing and healing. And it's such a blessing when one of our buttons does get triggered; because they're often so protected and buried that they're quite unconscious. Have a lovely day tomorrow.


December 22, 2014

This is such a joy-filled, lovely time of year. However, family squabbles abound. Something that was illustrated to me today about feelings. When your feelings are disproportionate to the situation, you know something else is going on. It's got very little or nothing to do with the person that is triggering you. Just recognizing this can help you keep from escalating the situation.  If something makes you angry, it’s not about the something.  This is another insight that can help you keep from feeding any negativity.  Look at the anger and why whatever upset you, rather than looking at what upset you.  It’s amazing how we can find just about anything to avoid some intense feeling we’re having.  We try to imagine what the other person was thinking or feeling or is thinking or feeling, even though we know this gets us nowhere.  It’s not about them.  It’s about the anger we feel and why we’re feeling angry.  When we know our response is disproportionate to the situation, we also know it’s not about the situation and it’s not about the people involved.  No matter how our mind wants to cycle round and round on this stuff, it is about the anger we feel.  It’s almost like you have to keep pulling yourself back to the feeling and the fact that you are the one having the feeling.  The mind will even try to get you focus on fears or imagine fears, so it can get you away from the intensity of the current feeling.  Things like the person may never talk to you again or the other family members will blame you or some financial situation will be worse.  There are many flavors of fear.  Be very strict with yourself in staying away from them all and getting back to the original triggered feeling.  Some people say that dark forces set up situations in order to trigger negative reactions (and I’m not suggesting anger is always negative) so they can feed off the misqualified light that gets released.  This doesn’t even matter.  It’s still about why we were susceptible, what triggered us and why it was able to trigger us.  In order to figure out why you’re angry, you have to just look at the clues.  Has something similar triggered you before?  Perhaps this is another step in being freed from unresolved feelings still hanging out in our system from an old situation.  I even ask that some angel capable of reading Akashic records find a way to reveal to me what about my past is still so sensitive and unresolved.

Of course, it’s important to remind yourself of the basics.  They’re not so easy to remember when you’ve been triggered.  The first thing is to remove yourself from the situation.  If you weren’t carrying a wound, you wouldn’t be reacting; so, don’t keep aggravating the wound.  The second thing is to re-establish your spiritual protection so you have space.  The third thing is to raise your vision above the situation and look at a larger picture.

Good luck.  Hope your next few days are filled with joy, rather than squabbles.

December 20, 2014

An insight for practical application in shifting from a fear-based approach to life to a love-based approach in the now. Most people already know this, but I have not been applying it in this manner before. The logistics are to acknowledge our feelings and thoughts in the moment, while also acknowledging our desire to choose differently now. The example is something simple like exercising a sprained foot. When shown the exercise I was being asked to do, my immediate thought was my foot is not going to like that. Then, even though I've been taught that saying that out loud is telling the cosmic mirror that out of all the possibilities this is what I'm choosing; I said it out loud anyway. I said: "My foot is not going to like that." Well, what has my brain just told my foot? You're not going to like what I'm about to do to you. And what affect is that message going to have? And, indeed, my foot became swollen and was rather unhappy last night. Essentially I allowed the fear of that type of movement with my healing foot dictate how my foot would respond. Even in that moment I had discerned that it was not an intuition that this movement would actually harm the foot. Now, of course, there are physical explanations; but we're looking at the feeling/thought side of the equation. We know that in real life all the variables are interdependent, which is the premise for shifting one variable. We could even expand this scenario and see the logistics of how the cycle of a downward spiral works, but I want to go do some other things. So, this is the thought I awoke with this morning; how I could have done it differently.

In love it is still important to acknowledge our thoughts and feelings. What I missed was my ability to make a new choice in the moment. So same scenario, but let's change the story. I'm shown the exercise to strengthen the ligaments in my foot. I immediately have the thought that my foot is not going to like that. I acknowledge quietly to myself: Yes, I recognize this concern. And out loud I say: "I can see how this exercise is going to strengthen my ligaments. I'm glad my foot is strong enough for this, now. I think it will be fine, although I have some concerns." I take a quiet moment for my feelings to shift into the same space as my thoughts. I say quietly to myself: "Yes, this is OK." And I check that I'm accepting that. So, I've acknowledged my feeling by acknowledging my concerns, but I've made the choice for my foot to be fine with this. So, now what message is my brain sending my foot? "This is going to help. Thank you for being strong enough, now, to do this." I shift the focus from the past to the present. I shift the fear into gratitude.

What experiences in your own life do you see where you can experiment with this technique for shifting from a fear-based approach to life into a love-based approach?

December 7, 2014

When I look at the list of items in the invocation for clearing the physical, in the middle two sections; I just don’t see anything else that I have elements of. I do have some fear to address and so I’ll look at how love would respond to each of these, but that will take some work. So I might look at what elements I share in the last section. But, today I’d like to look at what I currently know about who I am and why I am here.

I used to say I am a spiritual being. And while that is still obviously true, now I say I am an expression of God.  How many times have I heard the term God in Man without hearing what it says?  Even when I heard in terms of the Father expressing itself in the Mother, or the formless expressing itself in form; I heard the theory, I resonated with the truth, I started to identify with it, but I still didn’t really get it.  Then I learned that I am here to learn to feel and to learn to FEEL the Divine in me, not just know it, not even just identify with it, but feel it.  Last night I truly felt the love of the Divine enfolding me, pulsating within me.  How many years did I pine for that?  I am here to feel that love for me in the world of form and to radiate that love for all.

James Jareb at the labyrinths south of Santa Fe (http://www.stardreaming.org/) was inspired to paint a series on STAR. He calls it his Metatron series.   In his series of paintings STAR stands for Surrender, Trust, Allow, Receive.  I added an S to the end, Share.  I am here to surrender to the love of the Divine.  I am here to trust the love of the Divine.  I am here to accept the love of the Divine.  I am here to receive the love of the Divine.  (I am here to feel the love of the Divine.)  I am here to share the love of the Divine.  Numerous people have known and demonstrated and lived this throughout history.  It’s my turn.  Thankfully, it’s not a ‘have to‘ kind of thing or a ‘people expect it of me’ kind of thing.  Thankfully, it is a ‘because it gives me joy’ kind of thing.  James transmuted A LOT of energy during his painting.  Each line of dots represented something.  And if you look (http://www.stardreaming.org/gallery-archangels.php), there are lots of lines of dots.  While he was painting the Surrender painting and painting a row of dots, he surrendered something.  Then he surrendered something else on the next line and so forth.  During the Trust painting he trusted something for each line, allowed something for each line on that painting and received something for each line on that painting.  His fifth painting in that series was Acceptance of all I AM.  One of the stories of his that I love is when spirit asked him what he thought they could not do.  He made a list and they showed him some of what they could do.  Their purpose was to ask him the next question.  What is it you think you can not do?  He made a list of that, also.  And over the next decade or so, they showed him that he was able to do each thing he listed. He calls it his doubting tree and ties a ribbon each time he learns he can do something new. There are lots of ribbons.

I am here to BE the love of the Divine in human form and to FEEL the truth of it.  I’d say that is an opportunity and an experience worth embodying for.

December 4, 2014

One of the lines in the winter vigil (http://www.transcendencetoolbox.com/world-change/world-vigil) asks Archangel Michael to cut people free from that which causes them to “go beyond the borders of sanity.”  Now looking at events on a world scale, it’s obvious what that is referring to.  But, part of saying a decree is to transmute the energy within yourself.  The first time I went through the decree, I had the thought: Well, I don’t feed into any of this.  But is that really true?  My brother was eating cold chicken and I was concerned that he hadn’t heated it to kill any salmonella.  I asked him if he was eating the chicken cold.  He said: “No.  It might look that way, but in his mind it was nice and hot.”  He was half joking; but this morning when I woke up, I realized our family deals with a spirit of denial.  We do the same things over and over, expecting different results; which was Einstein’s definition of a form of insanity.  The spirit of denial is behind some of this behavior.  The spirit of denial manifests in my family in not remembering what someone has said when they talk about a trauma, in eating food we know our bodies don’t care for and expecting that this time there won’t be a problem, in not listening to what we don’t want to hear, in not believing that people mean what they say, in sitting in the same position doing the same activity and expecting the body to not get stiff and sore, in knowing the body needs water and not giving it enough and expecting it to still function perfectly.  So, if you want to see if a spirit of denial is affecting you, those are some examples of small things we tend to ignore.

So what action plan can I put in place to move beyond the willingness to indulge in denial?  Well, interesting I chose that wording.  It shows the next step.  Since I’m aware of it, am I willing to be free of it?  Make a no-nonsense, committed decision.  If I have some desire to hang on to these habits, I’ll just create a tension within myself in the next step; which is to call for Archangel Michael’s help.  And also saying that Astrea decree that is part of this winter vigil.  So, am I willing?  YES!  I declare that I am willing to be cut free of anything that makes me susceptible to any forms of denial affecting me.  I am willing to look at anything I need to look at.

Beloved Elder and I AM Presence, please make it obvious to me what I need to look at in order to truly be free of all forms of denial in my world.  Beloved Archangel Michael, Faith, Purity and Astrea, I do call on you to cut me loose and set me free from all denial that I am willing in this moment to let go of and from all that I become willing to let go of as I look at this.  I had denied feeling the loneliness and immense sadness from experiencing the illusion of separation from God.  I had walled off a portion of my being with these feelings and then called her the hijacker whenever she tried to get my attention.  Thanks to all your help, I quit doing that this past Sunday.  I consciously went into the feelings and felt their intensity.  I apologized to this “hijacker” for my having assigned a portion of my being to protect me from these feelings.  I held this energy of my being in my physical arms as though she were a child and she chose the new name of Harmony.  This has freed me in ways I’m not even aware of, yet; but I sense the depth of difference.  And I see the difference in my behavior.  This was perhaps the biggest denial in my world and your help in clearing this, along with all the aid from Mother Portia and St. Germain; I think has helped me be ready for this next piece of work.  Thank you so very much.

If I look at the balance of two scales, what do I think belongs in the two scales that perhaps needs to be balanced?  Patricia Cota-Robles says we have an imbalance of power and love that keeps us from feeling free.  Does that apply here?  The Masters through Kim Michaels have said we create two spirits.  If Denial is one of them; what’s the other one?  They say it’s something we don’t generally see, that we’re typically blinded to within ourselves.  This portion of my being that had so faithfully protected me from feeling alone and sad and separated, chose the new name of Harmony.   I see in each of my family members a willingness to endure almost anything to keep a sense of harmony within the family.  And of course, I’m pretty attached to peace.  Do we actually overcompensate?  Perhaps we’re willing to deny so much in what turns out to be a vain attempt at harmony and peace.  We know that true harmony and peace comes from looking directly at whatever we find easy to deny.

December 2, 2014

I'm also going to interrupt the series on the steps of healing trauma to do a series on clearing the physical, including emotional and mental.

Whatever is occurring on the earth right now, a number of us seem to be feeling it in various ways.  On a physical level I feel accelerated vibrations.  There seems to be a sphere of vibration with its center somewhere between my heart and solar plexus.  On Sunday the radius was to my ears, last night it included my feet.  Today, the intensity seems to have toned down.  With my poor sister it is manifesting as burning blisters traveling her body.  A number of other people in my circle of influence are mentioning various symptoms.  Various people are putting it in various terms, but the common thread appears to be that our planet is experiencing some sort of vibration change.  So, if you are having some sort of symptoms, there is still some sort of cause like an allergy or whatever.  But, apparently the cause is being triggered by this vibrational change.  So, you still have to deal with the cause, but this is a transitory stage.  Everything I’m seeing also seems to agree that this is a cleansing stage.

For me there is an old set of emotions being tapped on.  And it is obvious that they are going to continue to be activated until I deal with them.  Apparently, it is some instance I don’t remember, current lifetime or past; but I do have a sense of it.  By looking at what events trigger this pattern of responses and the responses themselves, I get a sense of it.  So, if you are trying to figure out what is going on with you, you need to look at the triggers and at the responses.  For me the triggers are when someone does not listen to what I say.  The response patterns include feelings and thoughts.  Either I feel a sense of relief, when there is some indication that people do hear what I have said or there is a sense of agitation when they indicate not listening.  Recently someone missed out on an opportunity because they didn’t listen to what I had told them was a good possibility.  I didn’t react directly towards them, but inside myself the reaction was so intense that it was obvious that it was linked to something old and bigger.  My sense of it is that multiple times people died from not listening to me and that in one or more other instances people died because they did listen to me.  And so, I have this tension and like a pressure cooker, it is looking for a release valve.  The emotions are anger, irritation, self-blame, withdrawal, and almost overwhelming sadness.  So, since the image of the pressure cooker has come to mind; I am visualizing these particular emotions in a pressure cooker with a release valve and little by little, I’m releasing the pressure.  You can try this visualization with what you are dealing with, as well.  I’ve worked on clearing this before, so apparently there is another onion layer here.  So just because you’ve dealt before with whatever you’re feeling now, don’t think you shouldn’t be feeling the way you are.  It is what it is.  If you’re feeling it, it wants to be dealt with and cleared.  Whether it’s another layer being cleared or the totality being cleared; it’s asking to be cleared.  And apparently, this is a really powerful time to be clearing it.  So, let’s go for it.

The beliefs behind my emotions are:  People don’t listen to me and when they do, it does no good.  Or it is a shock that people do listen to me and amazingly soothing to hear.  It is an amazingly soothing feeling when a whole table of people stops talking just to hear what I’m saying.  This happened just recently, and the feeling was so remarkably intense that I tucked the knowledge away.  As I said, someone missed an opportunity recently because they didn’t listen.  We still can’t have any sort of conversation without it becoming somewhat volatile.  And so, we’re sort of staying away from each other.  When the intensity is not appropriate to the current situation, I know something is up.  This can be a clue for you, as well.

We’ve looked at the triggers.  Next is looking at the drawbacks.  Here is the list for processing stuff.

  1. Describe the feelings.
  2. What are the beliefs behind these feelings?
  3. Triggers
  4. What are the drawbacks to allowing the cycles of these feelings and beliefs to continue?
  5. Why would we defend these feelings and beliefs?
  6. Do I defend these feelings and beliefs?
  7. What is the result of harboring these feelings and beliefs?
  8. Are you willing to surrender these feelings and beliefs?
  9. Action plan.

For me the biggest drawback is that when I withdraw, it keeps me from getting things accomplished.  I don’t like feeling agitated.  It’s quite tiring to be on hyper-alert.  I’ve chosen to be in a state of enjoying life right now and it’s very difficult to enjoy anything from this state of consciousness.  Almost everything becomes a chore.

Why would I defend these feelings?  They just are and I have no control.  Well, we know that statement is a lie.  One of the things, and perhaps the only thing, a person does really have control over is their own inner world.  It may be hard work or not, washing the windows of our own perceptions; but no one can do it for us.  I spoke out.  That was my only job.  Whatever happened after has nothing to do with me.  It was other people’s choices and they have a right to make those choices, without any influence from me.  Well, OK, but, the feelings don’t match these statements.  Can I see the duality?  Can you see the duality in whatever you are looking at?  I see anger and a lack of forgiveness for the choices they made and for myself and for the situations existing at all.

Results of harboring this?  An air of irritation that is being infused into several situations I’m involved in.  This means I’m not being able to be what I consider to be my true self.  That perception might not be possible, but that’s how I feel.

Am I defending?  That one always stops me in my tracks.  I’m defending feeling responsible for other people’s choices.  Well, that’s quite silly, isn’t it?  I’m feeling righteous about judging their decisions to be wrong.  Oh, well, there’s another goody to look at.  This process is allowing me to breathe outwardly again.  It’s almost like I’ve been holding my breath.

Am I willing to surrender these beliefs, thoughts and feelings?  Yes.  I like breathing.

Action plan?  Well it looks like, for me, forgiveness is on the docket.  So, as I type these next sentences, I’m also processing the current feelings as they come up.  And I’m visualizing the pressure cooker lid being removed, the emotions within having been transmuted into forgiveness, and that forgiveness energy being sent out generically and returned to me as forgiveness.  Obviously, you would visualize whatever is appropriate for you as you write your own action plan.   With each breath I take, I send out forgiveness to anyone who has chosen to listen to me and been adversely affected by it and to anyone who has chosen not to listen to me and been adversely affected by it.  I forgive this world for being a place of choices.  I forgive myself for having allowed myself to feel responsible for other people’s choices in what I saw as epic situations.  I forgive myself for buying into the many lies upon this planet, the biggest lie being that there are any epic situations.  I use an imaginary golden scissors and move it across in front of my belly button and cut myself free from these emotions.  I use the golden scissors across in front of my forehead and cut myself free from any perverted thoughts and beliefs associated with these feelings.  I allow the feelings of peace and release to flow over me.

And not a minute too soon.  I can just make choir practice.

Afterthought.  Thinking that my role was important is a lie of the fallen consciousness.  As we know, every drama on this planet is an illusion, especially the ones that come across as epic.  Any one person’s role in any illusion is just as important as any other person’s role.  The important thing is what we each learn about ourselves as we experience all of these illusions.  I had forgotten that.  What I learned about myself is that sometimes my perceptions are in sync with the illusion and sometimes not.  What does matter is being myself and doing whatever I’m prompted to do in the moment and then releasing any attachments to any outer circumstances.  I also learned I have the courage to speak my truth and that I do care.


This energy is sent out thru the protective filter of Father/Mother God's will
 and can only be returned in that will and by God's grace.